Feb. 14, 2020
013 - Confidence as the “Secret Sauce” to Success
Welcome to The Fully Lived Life podcast! A podcast for those who are longing to pursue the full life and want to break free from anything that holds them back. Listen in as two friends - a psychologist, Dr. Merry and a life coach, Gillian - talk about life, love and purpose - with wisdom, humour and transparency - through the lens of science, psychology, and life experiences.
Merry has been reading a great book - The Confidence Code ( link below). We dive right in to find out what holds us back from showing up confidently. How can we grow in confidence? How does risk play into confidence?
Merry and Gillian both admit to deep insecurities even though people often think of us as confident. As an Enneagram 2 - Merry identifies how shame can lead to a lack of confidence as she worries about what others think of her.
In the book there is a great quote that confident women are ”brave enough to not only be different but to be themselves” (The Confidence Code).
Confidence may be strongly linked to letting go of our worries about what others think of us.
Do we as women care too much about what others think of us? How does that resonate with you?
Can you accept perceived failure and move towards confidence?
Competence is rooted in failure because it comes right out of repeated tries to get it right.
Gillian shares how working through her insecurity and fear of failure in the technology world has allowed her to be at her best when doing corporate presentations.
Merry has intentionally pushed herself to speak up when she is feeling less than confident by prefacing her words with “ I’m just going to float this out there…”
Merry has come to understand that when she shows up with her vulnerability and transparency it actually engages the audience more than her perfection does - AMEN!
Gillian shares an embarrassing episode of snowboarding and how the feelings of failing and falling played out in her mind.
Life Coaching Notes:
Take risks - show us as the full you
Tolerate feeling foolish
Don’t get inside your head with “would of, could of, should of”
Laugh at yourself
Don’t look for perfection - make the goal to learn and grow!
Start with small risks and then leverage the small ones to take on bigger risks, e.g., think moving from a 5k to a marathon.
Merry shares how our choice to risk opens up the door for God to do the impossible. Fear can hold you back from what God desires for you to give to the world. Risk will grow your faith and grow your experience of seeing God do the impossible.
Question to ponder: “What are the hard things that you have learned from and how can you leverage them for the next hard, risky, courageous thing?”
The Confidence Code: https://theconfidencecode.com/
Dr. Merry’s book: https://amzn.to/2rCrJyI
Dr. Merry’s videos: https://bit.ly/377eFR0
Dr. Merry’s website: https://drmerry.com
Dr. Lin & Associates: http://drlinandassociates.com
Gillian’s Website: https://gillianmcshane.com