054 - Kick Your Inner Critic to the Curb! (Part 1 of 2)

Welcome to The Fully Lived Life podcast! A podcast for those who are longing to pursue the full life and want to break free from anything that holds them back. Listen in as two friends - a psychologist, Dr. Merry, and a life coach, Gillian - talk about life, love, and purpose - with wisdom, humour, and transparency -  through the lens of science, psychology, and faith.

What?

In Today’s episode, Dr. Merry leads us through Part 1 of the Inner Critic.  All of us experience this voice in us that sounds a lot like us. This voice is often left to run roughshod over us, and if we let it, it will end up sabotaging ourselves and be unable to move forward in growth or to reach our goals. So it is important for us to understand how each one of us has an inner critic within us, and how much it can control us.

So What?

Because criticism is so damaging to our soul’s let’s lean into the conversation to discover the source and the way forward! We know that criticism from others can be harmful to a relationship and it actually doesn’t work to change behaviour.

What is self-criticism?

Self-criticism is the tendency to evaluate oneself harshly. Self-critical individuals are always scrutinizing themselves and their performance in most areas of their life.

Now What?

Therapeutic Response:

What can we do if we want to become less self-critical?

1. Acknowledge that our self-criticism came about for a reason and has likely had some purpose in our life. So, we should refrain from criticizing ourselves for being self-critical.
   
2. We can try to be curious about the feelings behind our self-criticism. Is there a part of us that is feeling scared, angry, ashamed, and/or sad? We can try to have compassion for those feelings.
   
3. We can do our best to pay attention to our inner dialogue and notice when it becomes harsh and critical. Sometimes, when we’re feeling angry and anxious, it’s partly because the voice in our head has become attacking, so it helps to be mindful.
   
4. We can challenge our critical self-talk. For example, “It’s not true that my presentation was terrible. I could tell that some people were enjoying it.”
   
5. We can try to be more compassionate with ourselves and talk to ourselves as we might a friend. For example, “It’s really hard to feel that I worked so hard on something and it still didn’t go as well as I’d have liked. It’s understandable to be feeling upset about this.”
   

Life Coaching Response:

Over the course of the week keep a record of how, when, and what your Inner Critic says to you. What theme’s arise? When do you most feel the wrath of the Inner Critic? Keep this record for Part 2 of the Inner Critic in our next Episode.

Links:

Dr. Merry’s book: https://amzn.to/2rCrJyI

Dr. Merry’s videos: https://bit.ly/377eFR0

Dr. Merry’s website: https://drmerry.com

Dr. Lin & Associates: http://drlinandassociates.com

Gillian’s Website: https://gillianmcshane.com