Feb. 26, 2021
057 - Regulating Our Emotions During Times of Stress
Welcome to The Fully Lived Life podcast! A podcast for those who are longing to pursue the full life and want to break free from anything that holds them back. Listen in as two friends - a psychologist, Dr. Merry, and a life coach, Gillian - talk about life, love, and purpose - with wisdom, humor, and transparency - through the lens of science, psychology, and faith.
Dr. Merry walks Gillian, aka “Stella the lab rat”, through an exercise in emotional regulation. Gillian shares how she hit the Covid wall and wallowed in her feelings. How can we walk in real time through situations that trigger a full on emotional dysregulation? Tune in to hear a therapy session!
Lets lean in to differentiate between stress (internal - our response) and stressor (external event) - we can’t control the current situation but we can learn to manage our stress responses. Our emotional response is what can exponentially increase our stress and cause undue suffering.
If you’re struggling with controlling your emotions, consider how to STOPP (Vivyan, 2015). STOPP is a strategy that will help you in the heat of the moment when you are dealing with intense emotions. It incorporates aspects of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), and mindfulness meditation to help you more effectively address and manage your emotional response to a challenging, difficult, or rage-inducing incident.
STOPP stands for:
S– Stop! Just pause for a moment.
T – Take a Breath - Notice your breathing as you breathe in and out.
O – Observe - what’s going on, your thoughts, feelings, your focus, your reactions
P – Pull Back – Put in Some Perspective: What’s the bigger picture? What is another way of looking at this situation? What would a trusted friend say to me right now? Is this a fact or an opinion? How important will it be in 6 months’ time?
P – Practice What Works – Proceed
o What is the best thing to do right now? For me? For others? For the situation?
o What can I do that fits with my values?
o Do what will be effective and appropriate (Vivyan, 2015).
Therapeutic and Life Coaching Responses:
Here are two links to worksheets to help you develop emotional regulation skills:
Dr. Merry’s book: https://amzn.to/2rCrJyI
Dr. Merry’s website: https://drmerry.com
Dr. Lin & Associates: http://drlinandassociates.com
Gillian’s Website: https://gillianmcshane.com