071 - Healthy Integration: True Self vs Shadow Self (Part 1 of 2)

Welcome to The Fully Lived Life podcast! A podcast for those who are longing to pursue the full life and want to break free from anything that holds them back. Listen in as two friends - a psychologist, Dr. Merry, and a life coach, Gillian - talk about life, love, and purpose - with wisdom, humor, and transparency -  through the lens of science, psychology, and faith.

What?

We have lots of questions about the idea of “the true self” and our previous Episode 058 generated lots of comments and questions. Today’s episode and the next episode are a deep dive into the subject.  We want to talk in detail about healthy integration. Listen in and be sure to check back to next week's part 2!

So What?

While our shadow selves have true needs, we end up in hot water when we try to get those needs met in a self-referencing or self-protecting way. We trust in our own resources and performance rather than on God. Our behaviour on the outside can look the same, but the motives are different. We discuss the analogy of us as a pipeline connecting on one end to God, and the other end to others, and as we deal with the “gunk” in our pipeline, we’re allowing God’s love and character to show up to the world through our true selves.

Now What?

Life coaching tip:

Leveraging the visual of the pipe - draw a pipe with God at one end and you at the other. What is the junk in the middle clogging up the pipe? Name it, - anger, denial, shame, unresolved hurt, unforgiveness, bitterness etc. This will put you in a good place as we head into next week’s part 2.

Therapeutic Tip:

Think about the times in your life when you have really overreacted. A stronger reaction than was warranted. Look for patterns of this behaviour. The patterns will point to some unresolved pain, hurt or trauma from the past. Go get help in this area. It doesn't mean therapy necessarily, but find a program, group or trusted other to help you with this.

Links:

Dr. Merry’s book: https://amzn.to/2rCrJyI

Dr. Merry’s website: https://drmerry.com

Dr. Lin & Associates: http://drlinandassociates.com

Gillian’s Website: https://gillianmcshane.com

The Deeper Journey: https://amzn.to/3hTFmkW