Jan. 14, 2022
[RERUN] 003 - How People Pleasing can Lead to Burnout
Welcome to The Fully Lived Life podcast! A podcast for those who are longing to pursue the full life and want to break free from anything that holds them back. Listen in as two friends - a psychologist, Dr. Merry and a life coach, Gillian - talk about life, love and purpose - with wisdom, humour and transparency - through the lens of science psychology and life experiences.
In this episode, Merry shares her personal story with burnout. As a psychologist, Dr. Merry identifies herself as a recovering people pleaser. Merry shares how the energy she was pouring into pleasing others, wearing multiple masks and doing all the things to cover her sense of shame led her to this very dangerous chapter of her life. The drive for affirmation and keeping the pace to hit the “ideal” emptied Merry of her compassion, rest, peace and relationships. As a seasoned clinician, Merry was ignoring all the signs and symptoms of burnout. Pouring herself out to everyone else left her feeling abandoned by God and asking “when is it my turn”?
Can you relate?
What are the signs of burnout?
What is your body telling you? Check in with your physical self to really pay attention to changes in your physical self.
What is your spiritual self telling you? Are you experiencing the dark night of the soul?
What are your relationships telling you? Are you showing signs of compassion fatigue, are you edgy, easily annoyed and just wanting to retreat from your daily life and relationships?
Are you pushing the limits physically, emotionally and spiritually, all to keep others happy and to avoid disappointing anyone?
Merry discloses that she was operating out of her false self. Shame was a motivator for the dysfunction that was playing out in her journey to burnout. She shares how she came to realize that she needed to take ownership and accountability for her own emotional needs.
Dear listener - How are you responding to this idea of shame?
Does today’s podcast resonate with you?
In what ways have you experienced shame?
Gillian and Merry share their Enneagram numbers: Merry a 2 and Gillian an 8. Both will reference these numbers and how they play out in their lives in future podcast episodes.
Recommended Enneagram assessment: https://www.integrative9.com
Excerpt of Merry’s book: https://bit.ly/2QpA411
Dr. Merry’s book: https://amzn.to/2rCrJyI
Dr. Merry’s videos: https://bit.ly/377eFR0
Dr. Merry’s website: https://drmerry.com
Dr. Lin & Associates: http://drlinandassociates.com
Gillian’s Website: https://gillianmcshane.com